Have you ever thought about how your role as a mom changes as your children get older? When they are young, you control their entire world--what they eat, what they wear, when they go to bed, even how their bedroom is decorated, and the toys they play with. But what happens when they get older and have opinions of their own? How do we go about giving up that control and let them make the choices?
This is a hard one. I remember when my daughter was in first grade and she told me she wanted to get her hair cut, now that should be not be a hard thing to let her do, however, her hair was beautiful and it was long enough for her to sit on. I realized that I needed to help her make decisions and getting her hair cut was not something that would hurt her but it could be a lesson on making good choices. I had explained that you could not put the hair back on if she didn't like it cut, and that it would take a really long time for it to grow back. She still wanted to do it, so I let her, I think it hurt me more than her! She loved it! It looked so cute. It was, in the end, a good decision, but I allowed it to be hers, she took ownership of it.
I think that's one of our jobs as parents, to teach them to make their own wise decisions. I don't believe that our job is ever "over", I think the job description just changes. For me and where I am in my life at this point, my perspective, it warms my heart to see decisions that my children are making. I love having conversations with them about what they will do in different situations, I try to be careful to give advice not instructions--not always easy, but I think very necessary.
Somewhere along the line we are no longer controllers but influencers. Where you are in the process?
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